Many see the holiday season as a time of joy, connection, and celebration. But if you feel anxious, overwhelmed, or disconnected as the holidays approach, you’re not alone.
Not everyone experiences the holidays the same way. Some adults may not have time off work while others do. Others may feel isolated due to strained family relationships or having no family or friends nearby. Some don’t celebrate the holidays at all, whether for religious, cultural, or personal reasons. Financial pressures, caregiving responsibilities, or ongoing grief can also make this season difficult. Even small reminders—decorations in stores, social invitations, or festive media—can highlight these challenges.
Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, the Winter Solstice, New Year’s, or no holiday at all, this season can bring a mix of joy, stress, and reflection.
Acknowledging these feelings can be hard, especially when society assumes this should be the “happiest time of year.” But feeling stress, sadness, or anxiety around the holidays is valid—and understanding why can help you manage it.
What Can Make the Holidays Stressful?
- Social Expectations and Family Dynamics: Holiday gatherings can bring old conflicts or create pressure to present a happy facade. For those with strained family relationships, interactions can be emotionally draining.
- Isolation or Lack of Community: Not having close family or friends nearby—or feeling disconnected from them—can make the season feel lonely.
- Financial Pressure: Gifts, travel, and social events can add unexpected stress for those on tight budgets. Feeling unable to meet expectations can contribute to anxiety or shame.
- Cultural or Religious Differences: If the holidays aren’t part of your traditions, constant reminders and social messaging can feel alienating or isolating.
- Life Changes and Grief: Loss, major life transitions, or personal challenges can intensify emotions this time of year, making it hard to engage with typical celebrations.
- Overwhelm From Planning and Obligations: Even those who enjoy holiday traditions may find the extra tasks—decorating, shopping, cooking, hosting—mentally and physically exhausting.
What Holiday Stress Can Feel Like
Holiday stress doesn’t always look dramatic. You might notice:
- A vague sense of unease, irritability, or low mood
- Difficulty sleeping or concentrating
- Avoiding social invitations or seasonal events
- Guilt for not enjoying “the season of joy”
- Feeling disconnected or out of sync with others
These feelings are valid. You don’t have to force yourself to feel festive if it doesn’t resonate with you.
Strategies for When the Holidays Feel Hard
Name and normalize what you’re feeling.
Stress, sadness, loneliness, or mixed emotions are completely valid at this time of year. Naming the feeling often softens its intensity and reduces the pressure to “just be festive.”
Give yourself permission to feel what you feel.
You’re not doing the holidays wrong if you’re not enjoying them. Your emotional responses are shaped by your history, relationships, culture, and current circumstances. It’s okay if your inside world doesn’t match the outside one.
Spend time with people who feel supportive.
Choose connection that feels grounding and safe—whether that’s family, friends, a neighbour, or someone in your community. Even brief moments of genuine connection can help.
Set boundaries that honour your capacity.
Consider choosing one or two things you genuinely want to do, letting go of something that drains you, or asking for support when you need it. Boundaries don’t have to be big to be effective.
Do what aligns with your strengths, needs, and values.
Traditions can be meaningful, but they aren’t mandatory. You can shape the season around what feels right for you now, rather than what’s expected.
Set aside time for yourself.
A quiet walk, a warm drink, journalling, or simply a few minutes of stillness can offer your nervous system the reset it needs. Small moments of care add up.
Try a gentle shift in focus.
Some people find it helpful to identify one thing they genuinely enjoy about this time of year—like seasonal lights, a special food, or a moment of warmth or beauty.
Acts of giving (such as donating to a shelter, volunteering, or offering small kindnesses) can also create meaning and connection, especially if this season feels heavy.
How Therapy Can Help
If the holidays bring up stress, loneliness, grief, or overwhelm, therapy can offer a grounded, compassionate space to explore what you’re feeling. Therapy can help you:
- Identify what’s most challenging about the holiday season for you
- Set realistic expectations and boundaries for gatherings, obligations, and traditions
- Develop strategies to manage stress, guilt, or social pressure
- Process grief, loss, or difficult emotions in a supportive space
- Explore creative approaches to self-care and reflection during this season
Holiday stress is more common than many realize and you don’t have to push yourself to enjoy the holidays—or pretend everything is fine if it isn’t. There are ways to experience this season that honour your feelings, your limits, and your needs.
